/ 0
- Details
- Category: Naught Watched
- Hits: 104
Article Researched and Written by Shade Ross
Naught P.I. Agency rings in the new year with a new consumer watchdog column reporting on artificially intelligent products you might use.
Already this year there are disturbing reports of everyday items malfunctioning, causing terror and injury.
The subject of our first column's report concerns a home hot water vaporizer, Homeo-matix brand, model BreathofAir-66333. Fourteen individuals have filed complaints with Homeo-matix reporting incidents that state that the vaporizer's exit valve issues an offensive noise.
"It sounded like someone was torturing a weasel," said consumer Cyrus Mahomes of Cerritos, California. "Understand, I don't actually know what a tortured weasel sounds like, but I have a good imagination."
Another vaporizer owner complained that her vaporizer was "whistling the theme to the 'Andy Griffiths Show.'" Bernardina Marcoline, a retired hairdresser from Palmdale, CA, told Naught Watch, "I was surprised when I heard the melody coming out of my hot air humidifier that I keep it in my bedroom next to my television set. I watch the old shows a lot; it must have learned it from there."
A more disturbing report concerns a different model from the Homeo-matix line -- the BreathofAir-633366d, also known as a "portable steam curtain." This innovative, mobile design can move about from room to room with the consumer, blowing warm, moist air around a pre-programmed area. Ms. Ngan Lu Yandle, a paraplegic artist who resides in Ontario, purchased the vaporizer in November. "I programmed it to follow me from room to room. It worked fine for five weeks. Then, one day, I hear it making this strange, bleating sound. I turned my wheelchair around, and the little bugger screamed 'va-po-rize! va-po-rize!' at me! Then it hit me in the arm with a blast of steam. I had to barricade myself in the bathroom and call my sister for help." Police reports reveal the vaporizer injured three officers before it was finally subdued.
Homeo-matix could not be reached for comment but has issued a product recall and an offer of free earplugs and burn cream for anyone who desires them.
This Naught Watched consumer reporter is keeping her eye out for more reports of artificial intelligence gone awry.