/ 1
- Details
- Category: Naught Watched
- Hits: 238
uRempee3 Audio Player Changes Lyrics
The latest uRempee3 audio player manufactured by Teenage Vegetables, LLC is changing what people are listening to.
Literally.
It seems the new iEarIT chip in the current line of players has a mind of its own. iEarIT is supposed to listen to song lyrics you are listening to so it can recommend other audio presentations you might like such as other music, books, news reports, podcasts, radio stations and so on. It does this job well most of the time but some owners have complained that the player sometimes changes the lyrics to songs it finds objectionable then recommends things that it finds falls in line with the lyric changes.
Teenage Vegetables says it's not a problem and that owners are just so used to getting the song lyrics wrong that they aren't prepared for the recommendations being made by the player. But, that does not explain the recommendations that come from opera or Broadway show tunes.
Naught Watched suggests buying an audio player that has less bells and whistles, a Zune perhaps.
/ 0
- Details
- Category: Naught Watched
- Hits: 375
Viewing Windows Leads to Big Blues
We love our SceneScrape® Viewing Windows®, don't we? Especially when they replace the less desirable views of the outside world or a wall. Choose a presentation package that pleases you and set your View in Motion® (VIM) with wonderful images from the Internet (Version 5.1, Patent Pending).
SceneScrape® Company's recently released Viewing Windows 6® called Panorama™ is using the latest AI technology from the fledgling AI company, AI Vey (AIV). AIV has had its share of hiccups with its new line of chips, the Rocky Mountain™ and it looks like SceneScrape® Company's Viewing Windows® Panorama® product line is suffering from it. Or shall we say suffering from 'Seasonal Affective Disorder' (SAD).
/ 0
- Details
- Category: Naught Watched
- Hits: 126
Earl Grey Dispensed
Object replicator systems are nothing new in this day and age.
Considerable success has been had in replicating food, drink and disposable clothing. In fact you'd think replication science would be perfected by now but a recent event at one company proves that is not the case.
A whistle-blower at replicator systems company Doubled Unlimited, leaked information about how important precision is in verbally requesting your item. A DU Quality Assurance team was surprised when a request for Earl Grey Tea from their latest model replicator system did not in fact produce the tea but instead produced Earl Grey; the Second Earl Grey that is. Upon his dispensing the Earl asked, "Where's the party?" referring of course to the Whig Party of which he was a member. What went wrong?
It seems the QA team member did not specify 'tea' but only 'Earl Grey'. An unnamed source we talked to about the covered up incident said she wasn't surprised to see this happen with all the corner cutting the schools are making with English language studies. Nonetheless, laxity in language studies should not show up in what should be precision engineering. Further dispensation of the Earl was not revealed but we were advised that he was not used twice then tossed in the compost.
Reported by freelance correspondent Joy Funk.
/ 0
- Details
- Category: Naught Watched
- Hits: 110
Reality Recalled
Froid and Young, Ltd., creators of the popular Reality 5.5 have announced a forced recall ahead of a potential class action suit filed by bewildered users.
The latest version's bugs are eating holes in Reality itself. Users of the software say the class action is the work of disgruntled SIMs and that it is all relative, but other users, who requested to remain virtual, report that there are complications. Reports coming in offer such anecdotes as super-charged deja vus; chronic Catch-22s; lopsided yin and yang; guys ditching their super-model girlfriends and going back to their ex-wives; mail-in rebates actually being paid; cats and dogs living together; and a definitive answer to which came first, the chicken or the egg.
As a result of this reported inter-spatial chaos, users are virtually giving up the software, but until they actually do, this consumer reporter warns that wormholes are a possibility.
/ 0
- Details
- Category: Naught Watched
- Hits: 105
Steamed Vaporizers Vocalize Defects
Article Researched and Written by Shade Ross
Naught P.I. Agency rings in the new year with a new consumer watchdog column reporting on artificially intelligent products you might use.
Already this year there are disturbing reports of everyday items malfunctioning, causing terror and injury.
The subject of our first column's report concerns a home hot water vaporizer, Homeo-matix brand, model BreathofAir-66333. Fourteen individuals have filed complaints with Homeo-matix reporting incidents that state that the vaporizer's exit valve issues an offensive noise.
"It sounded like someone was torturing a weasel," said consumer Cyrus Mahomes of Cerritos, California. "Understand, I don't actually know what a tortured weasel sounds like, but I have a good imagination."
Another vaporizer owner complained that her vaporizer was "whistling the theme to the 'Andy Griffiths Show.'" Bernardina Marcoline, a retired hairdresser from Palmdale, CA, told Naught Watch, "I was surprised when I heard the melody coming out of my hot air humidifier that I keep it in my bedroom next to my television set. I watch the old shows a lot; it must have learned it from there."
/ 0
- Details
- Category: Naught Watched
- Hits: 115
We've Been Served
Naught Watched has been temporarily halted by a potential lawsuit from the company that makes the AI chips that are present in many of the products that we will be reporting on.
We'll keep you updated on all the latest developments of this potential case.